Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— 

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference. 

                       Robert Frost

No offense to the good education I got in the Wayzata Public School system, but it seems like we studied Robert Frost’s poem many times over, and it still never thrilled me.

Right now, however, I’m thinking a lot about the last three lines.  I’m at a fork in the road, I have choices to make, and my choices will make a difference.

We’re unexpectedly back in the US after only 3-1/2 months in Jamaica.  We believe God called us to Robin’s Nest Children’s Home, we don’t believe the decision to send us home was the right decision, and we don’t believe God’s will was honored in this decision.  All of a sudden, we’re dealing with feelings of grief, hurt, and confusion, and trying to find a place to live, furnishings, jobs, and a car.  It’s overwhelming. 

The real questions at this fork in the road:  Is God in control?  Does He have a good plan for me?    

So far, my reactions to this situation have been hopelessness, despair, bitterness, and fear.  In many ways, those are the reactions that would take me on the path “more traveled by”.  Those are the reactions that Satan is expecting.

What if I give Satan the exact opposite?  More importantly, what if I take God AT HIS WORD?  What if I make a purposeful choice to believe everything the Bible says about God’s character:  He is faithful.  He is just.  He is sovereign.  He is love.  He is compassionate.  He is forgiving.  He will give us a hope and a future.  He is our Shepherd.  He sees us. 

I'm going to take that path.  

In some ways, it’s a harder path.  It goes against our nature and against what the world tells us.  There's no logic in it, and we can't see where it's going.  It’s “less traveled”.  

But look at this amazing promise:  For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you:  "Do not fear, I will help you."  Isaiah 41:13  

I will take God, the Creator of the universe, who raised Jesus from the dead, at His word. 

Not the Usual Farewell

Andy, Erin, Ben

Usually it's the kids who move away, but we changed things up a bit!  Ever since we began the application process, over two years ago, our kids have been encouraging and enthused about us following God's call to Robin's Nest.  Even so, leaving them isn't something we took lightly.  They're witty, thoughtful, interesting, kind, and fun, and I will miss each one of them.  I'm thankful for email and Skype, but  not having the option of actually being with them will be a challenge.  I'm looking forward to having them come visit, I want them to watch out for and stay close with each other, and I entrust them to God's perfect care.         

Thank Goodness for the Snake Game!

So, I tripped on the steps Sunday afternoon.  Had hoped my foot was only sprained, but by Monday morning, we figured I needed to have it checked at the clinic/hospital in Montego Bay.
Checked in at 9:45am.
Turns out, one doctor was sick, which left only one doctor to see all of the patients.
Also turns out that Monday was the day the clinic was changing over to a new computer system.
St. Patrick's Day was my lucky day!
At 5:00pm, I was rolled out to the truck by the porter, with my foot in a splint.

What does one do while waiting at the clinic for seven hours, you might ask?
First of all, you must know that the waiting area was a narrow hallway with two restrooms and some offices.  So, in that amount of space, and with time on your hands, you start to get to know the other dozen people waiting with you.

We had an interesting conversation with a postal worker from Kingston.
Listened to a man take his eyesight test at the end of the hallway.  (He passed.)
Learned a lot from a man who was raised in Cuba.
And our favorite incident:  A few hours into the day, a man stepped into the restroom.  Sure enough, just then the nurse came looking for him.  Several people pointed to the restroom.  She quickly knocked on the door and called, "Stop, Mr. Frank!  Stop!"  She needed a urine sample from him.  Alas, too late; he needed to drink some water and try again later.  (Privacy may be overrated.)

As time went on, I counted the vowels and syllables on all of the signage, then tried to make other words using the letters on the signs.  Then it was time to take out Bruce's iPad and play the Snake game; high score:  51.

 

In the end, I got great health care.  I'm thankful that I only needed a splint, not a cast, and it will be removed in only three weeks. 

Navigating the uneven terrain here at the Nest will be a challenge, and there are probably some things I just won't be able to do.  (Can I get down the hill and collect eggs in the coop while using crutches?)

Comic relief at the end of the day:  the orthopedic surgeon asked if I needed him to authorize sick leave from my job...That won't happen, but I have been told that the Lord is allowing this time of recuperation as a Sabbath and to remember that our time here is a marathon, not a sprint. 



I'll have to let myself be on "island time" for a while!

The Prime Minister

The Honourable Portia Simpson Miller



 

One of the children, the 8-year-old, got in trouble the other day (poured a bucket of sand on another child's head!) and I needed to put her in a time-out.  Needless to say, she wasn't happy with me (and not particularly remorseful, I must add.)

She told me I should never have moved to Jamaica, and she was going to talk with the Prime Minister about it.  I told her to give it a try.  (Might as well go straight to the top.)

So I'm waiting for a certified letter or a phone call from Kingston; meanwhile, to acknowledge the British influence here, I'm going to "Keep Calm and Carry On"!  

 



 

Cousins

 

PattiLibbiJudi

 

I grew up in a family of four kids, intertwined with our cousins' family of three girls.  Seven cousins in a ten-year age span.  Tons of laughter, lots of stories.

We went to the same high school.  Took a trip to Florida together.  I wore their (matching, made by my aunt) hand-me-downs.  As adults, we (girls) dressed up as Laura Ingalls Wilder and took a trip to Plum Creek.  I stayed at their house as a baby, while my mom recuperated from pneumonia.  When we're together, we always take a photo, lined up by age, standing backwards. We get each other's humor.  Together we share the unique family memories of "The Firecracker Incident", "The Canadian Boy Scouts Incident", the "Contagious-giggling-while-Uncle-Ed-read-the-Christmas-story-and-said-The-Lord's-Prayer Incident", and on and on.

Others have observed us and commented that this isn't the usual cousin relationship, it's like seven brothers and sisters.  Most people have cousins, but these are my cousins.  "PattiLibbiJudi", always mentioned in order and as one name.

Yesterday we got the shocking news that Cousin Libbi has died.  She had developed Lupus several years ago, and had various health complications from that, but was always able to fight back.  During this hospitalization, too, the doctors weren't expecting this outcome.

None of us can quite put into words how stunning this is; sobering to experience a death in the family in our own generation.

Death was not part of God's plan when He created the world.  Death is a cruel reminder that Satan is at work in this world, slithering around to "steal, kill, and destroy".  With Libbi's death, Satan has had a temporary victory, bringing intense sorrow to her family and friends.  The God-given blessings of family and friends have been suddenly cut off and replaced with pain.

And yet, while we are mourning this death, as Christians we really can also remember:
                    "But as for me, I know that my Redeemer lives, and that He will
                    stand upon the earth at last.  And I know that after this body has
                    decayed, this body shall see God!  Then He will be on my side! 
                    Yes, I shall see Him, not as a stranger, but as a friend!  What a
                    glorious hope!"     Job 19:25-27 The Living Bible

Our family farewell song, sung whenever we part:  "Good-bye, good-bye, be always kind and true," and, "Remember me, I'm the one who loves you." 

We'll miss you Libbi, but we're still the seven cousins!

Veritas

 

 

 

So we've hit a slump, where all we can see are the mistakes we're making, and where it seems as if any efforts on our part are in vain.

 

In the last two days, one boy was suspended from school, another three are "on discipline" for a major infraction here at the Nest, and another boy stole money from his pod-mom's purse. 

But wait!  There's more...

We forgot to tell the cooks that the team of ten wasn't eating on site yesterday.  There was a big dispute with the man from whom we bought a goat.  There's a serious issue within the staff.  The boys are nit-picking about the chore chart.

By the end of the day I could only conclude that we have nothing good to bring to this home, and won't really be able to make a difference.  

That reaction might seem a little extreme, but truthfully, that's how I felt.

We heard a pastor once speak about the truth and The Truth. 

It's true that we have made mistakes, and will continue to make them.  It's true that we're foreigners and we're the ones who need to adapt.  It's true that we're on a steep learning curve and the process will be slow.

The Truth is that we've been called by God to be here at this time.  The Truth is that He can work through our failures and use us even though we're woefully inept.  The Truth is that He's the One doing the work here and the Holy Spirit will bring about the increased faith and growth that we all need. 

The Truth is written in the Holy Bible, a book full of amazing and ridiculous examples of God using feeble human beings to carry out His work.  A book of salvation through Jesus Christ, not based on our own works and performance, and, thankfully, a book about forgiveness which God graciously gives me again and again.

 

As the Jamaicans say, "True that!"   

 

 

   

FAQs

Who's going to cut your hair in Jamaica?

 

For about the last year, I had been getting my hair cut by Janine at The Cutting Edge in Glencoe, MN. 

Final haircut with Janine

I loved Janine!  She's talented, fun, interesting, and kindhearted.  I was always happy with my haircut, and I always enjoyed talking with her.  

 

Lots of people wondered how I would find a hairdresser in Jamaica.  I wondered that, too.  Guess what?  The Lord even cares about detail like haircuts. 

 

Sharon is a Jamaican woman who lived in the U.S. for many years, where she was a hairstylist, cosmetology instructor, and master gardener (among other things).  She has now moved back to Jamaica and volunteers at Robin's Nest every week, developing the garden.

 

She brought her shears along this week and kindly set up shop on the porch...

 

 

where she had a lot of help from her new apprentices, as well as a steady stream of other children (each of whom had various opinions about the length and style of my haircut!)

 

I'm thankful to consider Sharon a new friend, and I'm thankful for the provision of a new stylist.

 

First haircut with Sharon


Two recommendations when you need a haircut:  if you're anywhere in Minnesota, find Janine; anywhere in the Caribbean, come up to the Nest and make an appointment with Sharon (and at least a few children).      



 



Survivor - Jamaica!

 

 

One of the main things Bruce and I will be doing here is working with the boys in the boys' house -- currently seven boys ages 8 - 14.  The "pod moms" are in charge of the boys, cooking for them, doing laundry, getting them up and ready for school, disciplining them.  They do a great job!  Our job is to come alongside the pod moms, supervising, playing, leading, and also disciplining.

As Maria sings in The Sound of Music, "A captain with seven children, what's so fearsome about that?"  She also sings, "They will look up to me and mind me."

I love The Sound of Music, but a more accurate statement regarding these children was made by one of the workers here who told Bruce, "They will mislead you."  This worker is a man of few words, but he speaks from experience.

On a recent Friday evening, the pod mom was called away because of an emergency, and Bruce and I filled in.  I later referred to the evening as a week's worth of hazing condensed into a few hours.  Very efficient, really.

Actually, six of the boys were quite cooperative.  The seventh boy had a few hours of out-of-control behavior which included such things as slamming doors, sneaking out, spraying the large can of Lysol and the like.  The good news was that neither Bruce nor I got hit with anything, and toward the end of the third hour, Bruce was able to take him outside and calm him down.  Meanwhile, the other boys finished watching their movie and I read to them as they fell asleep...a pretty good ending to the day.

Behavioral challenges pop up throughout each day, although usually not as drawn-out as that Friday evening.  These boys have suffered severe trauma in their young lives, and it's no surprise that they become angry and unpredictable.

The stunning, heartbreaking, humbling thing is that along with the extreme misbehavior come incidents of kindness, caring, thoughtfulness, and glimpses into the hearts of little boys who want to experience tenderness and love...the boy who made sure Bruce brought me a hot dog after the bonfire, the boy who found a pillow and blanket for Bruce for movie night, the boys who call out "Watch me!" while they zoom down the hill on their scooters.

After one rough episode, a boy told me, "This place will drive you crazy!"  I answered that it probably would but that it wouldn't drive us away. 

Our prayers:  that we will have the strength, wisdom, and fortitude to "outwit, outlast, outplay" during the difficult times and show these children God's unconditional love.  That we can discipline them fairly and show them God's grace.  That we know God's grace for ourselves as we make mistakes.  

Thank you for making these your prayers for us as well!  
      
   
 

FAQs

How are you going to ship your belongings to Jamaica?

 

 

Big question that stymied me for a long time!  Shipping our things on a real ship would have been extraordinarily expensive and difficult.  We ended up finding very kind people who were willing to check our boxes and bins as extra baggage, and bit by bit our things made it to Robin's Nest.  We had extra baggage fees, but didn't have to pay customs fees.  The Lord made a good way! 

Our belongings were taken from Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa, and South Dakota by Amy, Denise, Joy, Michelle, Rob, and Tina and their various family and team members.  They took on the added stress of getting our things through customs, and we are very grateful to them.  The last load arrived with a team on the same day we moved here - perfect timing - and we were able to start settling in right away. 

After being unpacked, our bins are serving new purposes:

Water storage:  saving water from the dehumidifier for laundry and toilet when the water tanks are empty

Laundry basket

Bed-side table:  color-coordinated with our bedspread!

Desk:  propping up the coffee table until we can get wood to build a desk  (Bruce's ingenious idea!)

 Hooray for Rubbermaid!



The Hardest Goodbye

When we moved, I said goodbye to many great friends and a lot of family members:  brothers Chuck and Tip and families, nephew Chris and family, stepmother Dawn, stepbrother Jeff and family, stepsister Joan and family, the Potter cousins, more cousins, more family, and our kids Erin, Ben, and Andy.  Difficult to say goodbye to each of them, in different ways. 

But here is my sister, Susan.  Susan is the oldest of us four Speier kids, I'm the youngest, and of course there's a running commentary about how hard it is for the oldest child and how spoiled the youngest is. 

The truth is, Susan really did do a lot as we were growing up.  Because our mom was a single mom, many responsibilities fell to Susan.  She babysat us, did a lot of the chores, witnessed the most family upheaval.  She made sure our mom received Mother's Day gifts, and sewed Barbie doll clothes for me.  

Susan has a great sense of humor, is an artist, loves country music and dancing, helps me with the Sunday crossword puzzle, loves her two grandchildren like crazy, she makes the world's best spaghetti and the world's best chocolate-chip cookies, and is a cancer survivor.

Now she's facing another illness that has limited her activities, won't be able to visit Jamaica, and saying goodbye to her was heart-wrenching.  I love and miss her, I'm grateful for her, and I'm praying for God's gracious, miraculous intervention and healing in her life.       

Bruce's Blog

 

 

"And these signs will accompany those who believe...they will lay their hands on the sick, and they will recover.”   Mark 16:17-18

On Thursday I was helping one of our workers.  He had welded some bars onto a window grate.  We moved the grate off to the side and he asked me to do some finish work on it.  Not thinking, I grabbed a part of the grate that was still hot.  It burned my hand.  He told me how to take care of the burn and we both prayed over it.  I was done working for the day.  One hour later, before supper, two of the small children asked me about the burn marks on my hand.  I asked each one to touch the marks with their fingers and to say "Jesus make it better."  Later that evening the wounds were much better and, by morning, were almost non-existent.  "If you have faith like a grain of mustard seed you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move."  Matthew 17:20

Full Circle

This is no ordinary clothesline! 

Three years ago, Bruce and I brought a team of friends to Robin's Nest.  We mowed, painted, did electrical work, sang, painted some more, picked chicken skin off chicken feet, learned how long it takes to buy things at a hardware store here, and Dave and Nick installed this clothesline for the current directors. 

And now our clothes are on this line!  I get to think about our friends every time I hang clothes.  How fun is that? 

I'm grateful for a washing machine, sunshine, the clothesline, and the friends who have prayed for us every step of this journey.